Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Long Journey- a letter for my girl

We have never met, yet my heart is full of love for you. What will you look like? How will you act? Will you be happy, sad, shy, or scared when we first meet? Will you be stubborn like me or easy-going like my three sweet sons? While I wait to find the answers, I thought I would write about my journey and someday we can read it together when you are old enough to care about how God found us you.

God has had his hand in this journey we are making together. He has had his hand in it longer than I knew. People have been praying for me and for a little girl across the ocean who has no family and God has made a way. He provided a used vehicle in great condition when my old car broke down. He provided the initial fees to submit my package within days of its completion. At each and every turn he has provided what I have needed.

Currently I am one hour away from the capitol of your country, 33,000 feet above it. I have been flying all night on what has been, quite possibly, the most comfortable flight I have ever taken. They served a hot meal of pasta, salad, bread and cheese, brought steaming cups of tea just the way I like it regularly throughout the night and brought breakfast thirty minutes ago. They had a broad selection of movies from new releases to old favorites. Earlier in the flight I chose Singing in the Rain, reclined my seat and settled in. It was a nice break. I shared the middle row of the aircraft with a woman who is probably going home and we had a seat between us which we congratulated ourselves over at the onset of our flight.

I studied some children's books in your language and even shared them with some small boys sitting behind me who were very restless. I brought them along to read to you. I am going to ask the woman next to me to make sure I pronounce the words correctly. I hope that you grow to like books as much a I do.

The journey to the airport yesterday was harried. I waited for a letter from my landlord for several weeks and had not received it. He agreed to write it for me but could not notarize it until Monday. I asked if he would make an exception to "no work on Sunday" and sign the letter at his house if I brought the notary to him. He is a kind Christian man and said this was a situation worthy of making exception, signed the letter and wished me well. His family is praying for us. That warms my heart. I waited to have all of my documents certified because I was waiting on his letter. So, I rose early on Monday and drove two hours to Harrisburg and then left there for New York City. Of course I ended up choosing a parking lot business whose address was not recognized by my GPS and yes, I got lost. It was a three hour and 40 minute drive to the city and I drove around for an hour along the East River because the address I entered was nowhere near where I needed to be. I abandoned my hopes of discounted parking and parked at the terminal as I had eaten up all of my extra check in time. My bag was overweight so I had to lighten it by moving some of its contents to my wheeled carry-on. Checking two bags meant I had to pay. Turns out I had to pay twice. Once for checking and once for being over 50lbs. You see, that big suitcase is filled with toys and gifts for your orphanage and its workers. I am comforted that on the return trip it will be empty. I usually only travel with one small bag. All of my clothes for the week are in that carry-on and there was still room for more! I hope your caregivers like the things I am bringing for you to share with all of your friends in your home. I hope they feel comfortable with me and allow me to be your mother. This journey is a hope filled one. I cannot wait to watch these hopes come to pass. God has worked in such amazing ways throughout. For now, as I await the answers to our questions I will cling to Joshua 4:21-24.

"Then he spoke to the children of Israel, saying: When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What are these stones? then you shall let your children know, saying, Israel crossed over this Jordan on dry land; for the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed over, that all the peoples of the earth may know the hand of the Lord, that it is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever." (Joshua 4:21-24 NKJV)

God makes a way when there seems to be no way. He made a way for me when I was wretched, blind, selfish and foolish. I was unloveable. He called out to me and His word says that I am loved, wanted, treasured. In the same way, you are abandoned, fatherless and alone. Jesus promised in John 14:18 that he would not leave us as orphans. He promised he would come after us. I will make the same promise to you. I will exhaust every resource I have to give you an opportunity for a life outside the walls of an orphanage, for opportunities to learn and grow, and to worship God and to know who Jesus is. Until that time, it is my hope that your caregivers have opened eyes and hearts to the message of the gospel and are inspired to open the doors of your home so that other children there have advocates and find families, and above all so the lives are many are changed in the way that only the Word can.

Be blessed little girl. Soon we will be face to face.


  1. Oh, you are seeing Oksana any moment now??? oh that is sooooo exciting!!!!! praying for you!!! praying for peace, discernment, wisdom. May He continue to guide you as always.

  2. Tears Tears Tears... We had NO idea you were this close to meeting her. Ahhhh More tears. We Love her... We cannot wait to see pictures! Oh dear lady we are praying for you at the happy hartman farm. Praising our King Jesus...

  3. I am so excited for you and Oksana!! I've been praying for her (and you) for a long time and it warms my heart to know you're on your way to meet her. So excited she'll get to know the love of a momma very soon! God bless!